Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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