let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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