its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
