Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
