i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
