Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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