; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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