My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
