eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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