so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
