Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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