do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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