I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
