Duck Duck Cougar?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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