I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
God, I missed his penis.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
