she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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