Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
