All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
