I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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