Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
