Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
