Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
