More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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