My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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