um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
