My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
