i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
