Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
