my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
