FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
