I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
