I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
