We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
