I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
