oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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