I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
