Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
True strength comes from lack of pants
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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