I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
All I want is dick and wine.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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