tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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