All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
