sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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