So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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