The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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