Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
