Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
