Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
