just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
