do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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