fuck your aforementioned shoe
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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