the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
