Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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